The Full Circle Story of Penelope Prime
The story behind Penelope Prime is really the story of coming home to myself. I thought I was publishing a children's book. Instead, I was living its lesson.
7/2/20263 min read
In February 2025, I submitted my manuscript for Penelope Prime, Inventor of Rhyme to the publisher. I was filled with excitement about sharing her story. Penelope has lived with me since I was a young child, and I felt that I needed to share her. Not for the world, but for me. And also for my parents who loved Penelope since the day that they first met her.
What I didn't know was that bringing Penelope into the world would be met with confusion, self-doubt, emotional highs and lows, and even prolonged periods of darkness. And there was also a lot of, "This is so dumb. Why am I even doing this?"
Penelope begins as a young inventor/creator, filled with joy and beautiful rhymes that create beauty in both her inner and outer world. She's happy and free.
Happy and free. I've thought about those words so much over the past year and a half.
Those words describe how I remember my own childhood—writing rhymes, getting lost in books, spending time with my dog, or going on family vacations. But somewhere along the way, both in my life and in Penelope's story, came the feeling that I wasn't enough. Something was wrong. I wasn't like everyone else. I didn't fit in. I didn't dress the same or look the same. Something felt missing, and that familiar hole-in-the-soul feeling began. I was not happy and I was not free. I felt miserable and trapped.
In the story, Penelope starts searching for solutions, ideas, and for a sense of completeness—outside of herself. First through a factory, then through a machine. Her search in the outside world slowly replaces the connection she once had with her inner world, and the story unfolds. Consumption. Production. The relentless pursuit of more. That search to fill the hole changes her completely.
When her machine breaks and she tries to write again, the world goes dark. Her world goes dark.
To me, Penelope tells the story of my addiction, which began in my teens and lasted until I was thirty-eight. The quest for "something." The endless searching. The need for more. But the story ends with a little girl who finds herself again. She rediscovers her spark and realizes it was never "out there." It had been inside her all along. Her full-circle story mirrors my own.
Ironically, parts of the past year have become another full-circle journey. Once again, I found myself looking outside of myself while trying to complete a story about finding one's spark within. This time it wasn't drugs or alcohol. Instead, it was shopping, consuming way too many books, eating sugar, endlessly rereading every line in Penelope's story, and asking AI for a "better version."
Somewhere along the way, the process itself became another attempt to find outside what could only be found within. A gray shadow settled over my life. For much of the process, I felt emotionally and spiritually flat.
So what is Penelope really about? To me, she is about coming home. Coming home to that place inside where I am fully alive because I am connected to the highest part of myself. Coming home to the place in my heart where I know, sense, feel, and deeply believe that all is well. Coming home to the place where there is nothing to chase, nothing to consume, nothing to acquire in order to feel whole. Coming home to the wonder of imagination and creativity and the spark within me that is God-inspired.
For the past couple of months, I've been asking out loud, Is Penelope good enough?
I've probably asked that question a thousand times while struggling to craft the "right" ending (hence, the book is out in August instead of May). But through prayer and meditation, I've realized that Is it good enough? was never the right question. It doesn't matter if it's good enough.
The real question was: Have I come full circle? Today, I can answer: Yes.
Penelope exists to remind me that the happiness and freedom I experienced as a child can only be found within. She reminds me that it isn't "out there." She reminds me that I have always been enough—that nothing external can validate or complete me. She reminds me that the deepest joy I've ever known comes from using my imagination and trusting the spark within me. There is no better version of Amy and AI most certainly does not have a better version of my words or my voice.
I am me and I am free. And I am deeply grateful for Penelope.
Each of my stories was first dreamed up when I was a child. Today, I honor that child by finally sharing them.
If there is a spark inside of you... a story waiting to be told, a piece of art waiting to be created, or a dream waiting to be lived...I hope you'll trust it and follow it. Perhaps you'll find like I did that the happiness and freedom you've been searching for is not out there. I believe that they have been inside us all along. Just like Penelope found out too :-)
XOXO,
Amy